How Jobs are Like Death

I came to the realization the other day that jobs are like death. I don’t mean how some jobs can be soul crushing, time consuming wastelands that serve only to suck up all your time and joy and keep you away from your family and friends. I actually have a more optimistic point to make. Now, if you’ve ever watched or read a ghost story you know the plot where said ghost has unfinished business and has to fix something or learn something before he or she can move on to the great beyond. Jobs can be a lot like that. But just like the ghosts in these stories, you have to be open to learn something, or you just end up haunting the same place for all eternity, a wisp of your former self. I’m a writer, so my dream job is of course to write. But darnnit if life doesn’t like to get in the way with those pesky little bills and need for food and such. I’ve had my fair share of jobs on my quest for my dream. I’ve worked in accounting, physical therapy, marketing and sales. One thing every job had in common was that I had them for a reason. They taught me skills, helped me meet people and even helped me move to somewhere I needed to be. Without my first job out of college, I would never have moved when I did and avoided having my home destroyed by a hurricane. I found my first publisher from working at a physical therapy clinic. Whenever I needed a new job, I found one.  I have always been where I needed to be when I needed to be there. And once I learned what I needed to learn, I moved on. I never knew going in what I would get from any of my jobs. Most of my experiences were unexpected and life alterring. I may not always be where I want to be, but I am always where I need to be. Realizing that can make it a little easier to handle difficult times. Ten years ago I never could have predicted where this decade would take me, but I know I have been blessed. I just need to be where I am and let the future take care of itself. I have faith I will reach my dreams and goals one day. In the mean time, I will learn what I am meant to learn and take full advantage of where I am, now. If I hunker down and learn everything I can as quickly as I can, I will be one step closer to where I am meant to go.

-A.D. McLain

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New Project, New Genre

I’ve been working on my Spirit of the Wolf series since I was 17 years old, almost half my life, so when I heard about NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) this year, the idea of working on something new was exciting and a little scary. I couldn’t work on any of the books in my werewolf romance series, since I have bits and pieces already written for each of them. But there was this one story I wanted to write, and November gave me the excuse I needed to put my other books down for a bit and try something different. Thus began my foray into the world of fantasy. I didn’t meet my nano goal of 50,000 words in one month, but I did get a respectable 23,000 words. With a full time job and two small children, I’ll take it. Of course, between my work on my book in November and a time intensive Christmas gift that took up the first two weeks of December, I’m feeling a bit apart from the rest of the world for the moment. And I still haven’t finished my book, so that isn’t about to change any time soon.

My new book is a fantasy novel complete with elves, gnomes and other strange creatures (highly influenced by my DnD playing experience). I’m actually very excited about it and hope to have a good draft done soon. I’m at that frustrating point where I have some really fun scenes I want to share with the world, but I’m not far enough alone to actually let anyone read it. There are still a lot of holes in the story that need to be filled in. I don’t even have my title finalized, yet. I’m planning to publish this one via smashwords so I can set the price and get it out a little quicker. Now I just have to fight against myself and hold on to the book long enough to finish it and edit it properly.

Anyway, I just had to share something about my current project. I’ll post more about it, including sample scenes and completion updates, as soon as I can. Keep posted.

-A.D. McLain

www.wotpast.com

The Princess and the Pea

You know those things that make you question your sanity or wonder if you’ve somehow stepped into an alternate reality? The story of “The Princess and the Pea” is that for me.  Everyone knows the basics of the story: A princess is so sensitive she can feel a pea under her mattress, even if you put it under a stack of many mattresses. In the story, a prince is looking for a bride. The prospective brides are tested in this manner to see if they are princesses.  And here is where the story gets interesting. Everyone I’ve asked in the past twenty years has told me that the princess wakes up complaining about how she couldn’t sleep, and everyone knows she is a princess, since she could feel the pea. But that isn’t the story I heard as a child. In the version I heard, the princess doesn’t want to be a rude guest and tries to hide the fact that she couldn’t sleep. She is so tired, she ends up falling asleep at breakfast. The queen is livid. How dare a guest fall asleep at the table? The prince interrupts her rant and says that the princess showed true sensitivity. Not only did she feel the pea, but she showed sensitivity of heart by not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings or be rude.

I can not find this version of the story anywhere. It is like it never existed. No one I know has ever heard it. It leaves me to wonder where I heard it, did I imagine it, or what? If anyone out there has heard this version of the story, I welcome your comments. If not, I also welcome a discussion on the merits of each of these stories. I am partial to the story I know. It teaches a lesson and shows that it is good to be polite and care about the feelings of others. I would love to find it in print somewhere, if only to know I’m not crazy. Until then, I will be content to share it with my children.

-A.D. McLain

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Fast Food Memories

I just had one of the best anniversaries ever. The best part was the simplicity of it. We grabbed some food from Sonic and had a picnic on the lakefront with our two little boys.

There have been a lot of attacks on fast food in the past few years. People complain about the high calories, marketing to children or even how they need to warn us that hot coffee is hot. (Don’t you wish we could return to the days when people actually had to have a brain to survive?)Most disturbing to me is that the fast food places are actually starting to cave to this pressure. I don’t mind them offering menu options so people can chose healthier foods, but the day when a fast food restaurant forces me to accept half the french fries I would normally get, while they replace the rest with apple slices in the kid’s meal is the day I stop going to that establishment. Sure, eating fast food all day every day is not good for you and can make you fat. But guess what, kid’s aren’t the ones buying the kid’s meals. Their parents are. So who cares if they are marketing to children? It is the parent’s job to say “no” and set the rules and boundaries.
But I digress. The real reason I am writing today is to lament what may soon be the loss of a very important element in our lives. While fast food restaurants are a business and have their problems, they have also been an intrugal part of many of our lives. I remember having a joint birthday party with my best friend at McDonald’s when we were in first grade. On long road trips to visit my family in other states, we would stop and get pancakes and hashbrowns for breakfast. Sometimes I would eat it in the back of the car while we drove. There were impromptu family reunions held in fast food parking lots and over a few combo meals. It made the perfect stop after a long trip to meet up with family or friends so they could lead you to their home, or to exchange Christmas gifts when driving all the way to one person’s home was too far, and you needed some place in between to meet. I would grab some fast food after school, before band practice, and share it with my classmates. I learned to eat without much salt back then, as they would always forget to put salt packettes in my bag for some reason.

As a child, every weekend, my mother and I would go to the store together. We made a day of it, went to eat at Dairy Queen or Sonic, went to the movies, shopped for awhile, got groceries, and would sometimes grab a pizza on the way home. It was wonderful. In college, I would grab some fast food between classes, and my first date with my husband was at a McDonald’s. We drove around for over an hour looking for somewhere to eat before I finally decided to go there. I’d never been to real restaurants before and felt comfortable with that choice. We recreated that first date a few times on anniversaries. We did so again this year with our Sonic picnic by the lake. I will always remember my time at fast food restaurants fondly. I only hope that my sons will have an opportunity to build those same kinds of memories, unmarred by political agenda and stupidity. May we all learn to appreciate our own fast food memories, before they are gone forever.

-A.D. McLain

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Inequality in the Workplace

I’ve often heard there is inequality in the workplace, and that is absolutely true, but the kind of inequality that actually exists may surprise you. There are complaints of glass ceilings, lower pay and discrimination for women, etc. And that may exist in certain instances, but the real inequality exists for men. Think about all the allowances that businesses are required to make to women, particularly during pregnancy and the post-natal time period. First, during pregnancy women often get morning sickness, suffer back pain, swollen feet, etc., not to mention they are prone to other complications, can suddenly go on bed rest with no notice, are unable to lift or push heavy objects, use ladders, and have to take a large number of breaks to rest, eat and use the restroom. They also have to go to very frequent doctor appointments and leave their job from as few as 6 weeks to several months or more once the baby is born. An employer never knows if they will actually return to work, so they do not know if they should look for a permanent replacement or a temp. Women often keep their actual plans a secret to avoid losing health insurance benefits. In either case, employers must spend time and money on training, drug tests, background screenings and interviews. A lot to go through, and very costly. This is on top of the lack of productivity from a pregnant woman who doesn’t feel a hundred percent and has many other things on her mind. But assuming the woman returns to work, it can get even worse. If the woman decides to breastfeed (a completely legitimate choice that helps the mother and the child and is deeply rewarding), the employer must suffer even more. In almost every profession, the employer must accommodate the breastfeeding mother. This requires giving her time and a place to pump during work. Let’s break that down for a minute. It takes 15-20 minutes to pump to get to the hind milk that is needed for the baby. Assuming a few minutes for set up and a few minutes to clean up, you are looking at about a 30 minute break every three hours. If you go to work from 9 to 5:30 with a thirty minute lunch, your schedule could be as follows: Work an hour, take a thirty minute break to pump. Work an hour, take a thirty minute lunch. Work one and half hours, take a thirty minute break to pump. Work 2 hours, pump, work and hour, go home.You get paid for 8 hours. You work 6 and half hours. And that is assuming you actually work that entire time. Most people have a warming up period after a break where they have to get their minds back into work. And that doesn’t count any breaks to talk with co-workers, get coffee or water, use the restroom, etc. The employer must have someone else to cover the time she is pumping, and they must provide somewhere to pump. If this happens to be a break room with kitchen, well any other employee is just out of luck if they need anything in that room while she is pumping. Other employees must move their lunch plans around to accommodate the breastfeeding mom. And what if there is a meeting scheduled when she needs to pump? It can be a very big deal, depending on the workplace. Imagine if a man were to ask for that many breaks during the day. He would be laughed out of his job and replaced with someone who actually wanted to work. Don’t think for a moment I am disregarding the amount of work a mother puts into taking care of her family and home, on top of a job out of the house. I do not imply that any new mom is lazy or doesn’t want to work or do her job. I am simply saying that good intentions aside, a breastfeeding mother is a costly inconvenience to any business.
I am not suggesting that businesses should not make accommodations for breastfeeding mothers. I am myself a breastfeeding mom who puts my own boss through these same inconveniences. I do it for my son, so that he can get the best and be as healthy as possible. But I’m not stupid enough to think that it is fair on the other employees. I can’t imagine any business wanting to put up with any of that. But if they say anything, they are sued for discrimination and treated like the bad guy. It is a wonder any businesses even hire women between the age of 20 and 40. And that isn’t enough. We want more. We want more money, more benefits, more everything. We claim we aren’t treated fairly. Well, fair is a relative term. Life isn’t fair and all I can say is thank God I’m a women, because I could not do what my husband does. I could not put up with the months of extensive overtime, long hours, no vacation, standing all day in the heat/freezing cold, on concrete floors with back pain, neck pain, foot pain, and no sleep, watching my wife bond with our children while I am forced to work for her to stay home, never getting that same opportunity to bond with our children one on one, never getting to even take a break to welcome them home, since maternity leave puts us one paycheck short. We run on the same sleep deprivation from late night feedings, but he does not get a break to rest. He does not get a break to do anything. All the while, women complain about those evil men in the workplace who get paid more. Guess what, they deserve it. Not all of them. Sure, there are some women who deserve more pay, just as there are some men who deserve much more pay than they receive. That’s just the way life is. Truth be told, if we all stopped worrying about some imaginary glass ceiling and wanting to get the bad guy big business who just wants to stick it to women, and started worrying about what was most important (family and being with our children) things would be much better. If women could afford to stay home longer with their children, if we didn’t have to all work two jobs just to survive, it would solve a lot of problems. Think about it. If women could afford to leave work during difficult pregnancies and stay out of work long enough to finish breastfeeding, they could feel free to inform their employers of their plans with enough notice to allow them to make plans, hire their replacement and train said replacement. They would not have to deal with all the doctor appointments, breastfeeding at the workplace, etc. Husbands would not have to work their fingers to the bone to make up the lost pay and could afford to take their vacations to be with their little babies and children more. Moms wouldn’t be stressed about wanting to be home, feeling guilt over leaving her baby and looking for ways to make it right. Wouldn’t it be a much better place if we could all just be honest about what we really want and stop playing around? Mothers should not feel guilty about wanting to be a mom and stay home with their children. We aren’t less of women or betraying those who fought for equal rights when we want to be a mother. Women fought for the right to give us a choice and somehow took one from us. Instead of being forced to be a mom, we are now forced out of motherhood. I’ve met many career minded women who did not even understand wanting to stay home with their children unless one had too many children to afford childcare. To them, it was only something you wanted to do for financial reasons. What has happened to us that women have lost that bond with their children? Instead of being raised by loving parents, our children are raised by day cares and schools. We are fighting for the wrong thing. Instead of fighting for equal pay and rights at work, we should be fighting for our right to be mothers again. We should stop trying to force ourselves down employers throats and be an inconvenience to everyone and start trying to take care of our families.

-A.D. McLain www.wotpast.com Follow @wotpast

Support for Israel

I find myself wanting to write about what is happening with Israel but not knowing what I should write. I’ve never been a great student of history. I’ve learned more in the past few years than I ever learned in school. It is amazing how much history we aren’t taught, how little most of us know. But one thing always seemed clear to me. The Holocaust was bad. People were murdered. Hitler was evil and killing the Jews was wrong. It was something everyone seemed to agree on. In a world of grays, this one issue was black and white. So how can so many people be so quick to turn their back on Israel, now? How can everyone be so quick to disregard hate speech calling for the death of the Jews? How can people shrug and say it could never happen? It has already happened within the past century. Are our memories so short? Are we that easily led? When children’s programs in Egypt talk of Jews being evil and how they should all die, how can we turn a blind eye?

As a child in school, I wondered how the world could let the Holocaust happen. There have been countless studies trying to explain how the German people went along with the death camps. Yet when faced with the same prospects again, we do the exact same thing. Instead of standing with our brothers and sisters in Israel, we would stand with countries who harbor terrorists bent on our destruction. We support countries where women are stoned to death and children are used as suicide bombers. How can we be so blind? And for those who do see, how can we remain silent and ignore what is happening? What will be our excuses to our children for why we did nothing, why we did not act? Regardless of the price we must pay, the sacrifices we must make, some things are black and white. Some choices are clearly good or evil. And doing nothing is the same as being complicit . Remaining silent because we are afraid of who we may offend is the same as carrying out the atrocities ourselves. I for one will not remain silent. I support Israel. May others stand with me in their support, but even if they do not, I will continue to stand for what I know is right.

If you would like to show your support for Israel, please take a look at the following links:

Restoring Courage Facebook Page here.

Stand with Israel – Show your support for Israel with a Facebook or Twitter badge:  http://t.co/IVaC5wn via @Twibbon

International Fellowship of Christians and Jews

 

–A.D. McLain

www.wotpast.com

The College Experience

It has been eight years since I graduated from college with a BA in Liberal Arts. Looking back on that time I find I learned a lot, but most of it wasn’t in text books. I was an English major, but I can’t quote too many famous authors. I barely remember any algebra or calculus, despite the years I spent studying it. Every now and then I pull out some random piece of info I learned from a professor or class, but that happens just as often with things I saw on Discovery Channel. Honestly, I’ve probably retained more from Mythbusters and the various nature and science shows I’ve seen throughout the years. Whoever said you can’t learn things from television wasn’t watching the right shows. You can learn things everywhere. You must simply be open to learning.

So what is the point of college, anyway? I studied English for four years only to get jobs in accounting, physical therapy, marketing and retail sales. Every job I’ve had, I was forced to learn as I went with little to no prior experience in that field or profession. I’ve learned things from each of my jobs that I then carried over to my next job or to my writing. Every experience I’ve had was important in some way. That includes college.

In high school, I was completely excited by the idea of college. I wanted to be out on my own, in charge of my own destiny, free to make my own decisions and mistakes for the first time. I packed six months early and moved in the dorm the first day I was allowed to move in. My first lesson was others were not filled with the same sense of personal responsibility and motivation to be their own person that drove me. And honestly, who could blame them? Every time I turned around I found more rules and restrictions designed to treat us all like children who couldn’t make our own decisions. We were coddled and shepherded to make the choices our teachers or the school administrators thought we should make. I angered me a great deal. I was an adult. I could fight and die for my country, but I couldn’t have a co-ed study group after 9 pm. (if we are being completely honest, it is actually easier for boys and girls to enjoy alone time during the day when roommates are gone at work or class than at night when they are all in the same room, but I digress). The point is, I did not understand the discrepancy between how I was raised, how my opinion mattered at home, and how my school gave me far less credit for being able to make decisions than my parents did. If you treat people like irresponsible morons long enough, they will learn to become what is expected of them. It is easier to be a dumb kid. No one blames you for your actions. It’s never your fault. You were just doing what you were told, following hormones, etc. I encountered much of this in elementary through high school, but silly me, I thought things would be different in college.

College can be a wonderful place to cultivate personal responsibility if it is allowed to flourish. It can be a buffer between childhood and full adulthood, where one can take on a few new bills at a time, learning to budget with a safety net. But this is only the case if responsibility is the ultimate goal. If you never take off the training wheels, you can never truly learn to ride a bike. You have to take charge of your own life. It may be hard, but it is worth it. If you always allow others to make your decisions for you, you are never truly free. You must try things that may not work out and be prepared to live with the consequences.

But my college experience was not all bad. I am the type of person who is motivated by my goals to the exclusion of many other things. Once I am focused on something and know what I want, I can not be distracted from that path. I went to college to learn to improve my writing. Throughout my college career I continued to work on my books, and three and half years after I graduated I published my first book, “Wolf of the Past.” I may have learned more to improve my writing through a brief consult with a literary critiquer than I did in college, but ti did help lay some foundation for my skills.

I also learned a lot about dealing with people. Living with someone will teach you a lot. For instance, live with anyone for long enough, and you will probably end up hating them just a little. It’s inevitable. The second a roommate does one thing to upset you, if it isn’t resolved quickly, every little thing they do will instantly become a horrible reinforcement for your bitterness and anger. Of course, you can work past this, and close friendships do develop and grow in a roommate environment, but it is not easy. It is a valuable lesson to learn that can help with future relationships. Once you know what you are doing and understand that it wasn’t really such a terrible slight that the roommate turned out the light while you were reading, or turned on their cd while you were watching tv (or any number of the stupid, little things that just add up over time to make one big thing) you can move past those things and focus on the big things that are really important. Developing this skill set is crucial for dealing with a spouse, as marriages are often prone to the same problems as roommates in general.

Of course I would never had learned any of these things if I had not lived on campus during college. I truly believe living in the dorm was one of the best things I could have done in my life. It helped me grow as a person, take on responsibilities at my own pace and learn to be self-sufficient. I had to learn to budget, pay bills and get myself up for class on time. I had to work my student job, plan my own schedule and balance classwork with fun activities. There was no one looking over my shoulder to make me do my homework. I had to do that all on my own. There is no substitution for experience and hard work. That is what I took from my college experience.

-A.D. McLain

www.wotpast.com

Stories Matter

I’m often teased for the way I analyze the movies I watch or the books I read. “It’s just a movie,” I’m told. I should lighten up, not take things so seriously. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, or maybe I can blame my years as an English major in college, but I expect more from my entertainment. To be completely honest, I always have. I would read a book and think, “I can do better.” That is part of the reason I began writing my own stories. As a writer I expect more from other writers. When I see obvious continuity errors or plot choices that make no sense, I feel that writer is being lazy. I expect at least as much from other writers as I expect from myself.

As a writer, I know all the elements that go into a story. A writer must balance theme, character development, action and symbolism, all while keeping the reader or viewer engaged and entertained. To fail at any part of this is to fail as a writer and a storyteller. If the reader isn’t entertained they won’t continue reading, so it doesn’t matter what your message is.

To some, all this is meaningless. It’s just a story. It isn’t real. It doesn’t matter. But stories can be far more important than people give them credit for. Stories allow us to explore issues we all face in daily life. They make us think, feel, examine our beliefs and consider impossible decisions and issues of right vs wrong. They bind us as a culture, displaying elements of our society, our practices, what is important to us, our ideals. They teach us accepted behaviors and what to consider taboo. A good story touches us on a deep level, leaving us inspired, full of hope or full of fear. The best stories affect us without our being aware of it. Therein also lies their danger. Writers have a door into our minds. They can leave impressions and ideas that weren’t there before. They can shape opinions and the direction of a society.

In the end, yes it may just be a movie, or it may just be a book, but that is irrelevant to its ultimate importance. The media chosen is a vessel that conveys the larger message. How that message is received is what really matters.

Drama With The New Pet

What a week. So, my in-laws rescued a turtle from their dog last week. Thus, we now have a pet. I figured, at least it won’t tear up my house and my son would be thrilled, so okay. Then starts the endless trips to the pet store.

We get a starter kit, told it has everything we need for our turtle. It had lamps and a filter, but no bulbs, and we had to get our own tank and basking area. Trip two, we get a tank with lid and bulbs. (you are supposes to get one UVA and one UVB bulb apparently). Well, the UVB bulb was too long for the lamps that came in the starter kit. So, we go back. Trip three. Spend about a half hour trying to find a bulb that  has UVB light. Pick out a basking dock that attached with suction cups and get some more food. Told which bulb to buy and go home. The dock doesn’t have the suction cups in the box, so we stay up past midnight trying to figure out a way to attach it to the tank. Oh, and we start to notice that the filter isn’t really working that well. Let’s say we’re totally loving the starter kit at this point. So, we give it a couple of days and drive back down to the pet store. Trip four. Return the starter kit and dock. Get a new filter with basking area and a new thermometer to replace the one that came in starter kit. Get home only to realize we left one of the bulbs in the lamp we returned. Call back so they will hold it. While looking at the box for the bulb, realize the one they sold us that was supposed to be UVB light is actually UVA light. Meaning, we had two UVA bulbs and no UVB bulbs. Urgh! Go back to petstore next day, trip five. Get light bulb (didn’t return it. Only five bucks and figure I will have replacement when other bulb goes out).  Get some replacement cartridges for filter to keep on hand and order the UVB bulb we need online (they didn’t have it in the store).

So all in all, we had five trips to the petstore. Two trips to other store to get things petstore didn’t have. One online order for lightbulb neither store had, and three items that had to be returned. Wow, and I thought a pet turtle would be simple. Hopefully this will end the pet store trips for awhile and we can just enjoy the turtle and save the gas and time. Here’s to hoping.

-A.D. McLain

www.wotpast.com

Hello world, from A.D. McLain

I’ve never done the blogging thing before, so bear with me.  I am a writer, have been since I was 12 years old. Wrote my first short book, then. It was a 30 page book and was going to be part of  a young adult series. I even started working on a second book. Then when I was 17 years old, I started my Spirit of the Wolf series, and it’s been all werewolves ever since. My first book in that series, “Wolf of the Past” was published in 2007 by Publish America. The second book in the series, “Wolf of the Present” was just released by Strategic Publishing Group. I have plans for many other books in the series and have even been working ahead all the way to book 18. As I get ideas for a book, I sit and write it down, even if it is several books down the line in the story. Then I go back and work on the next book that needs to be published. I think it is really helping my early books, as I know where the story is going, so I can tie things together earlier in the series. It makes me really excited when I see how things are going to tie together later one. Anyway, more to come later. Just wanted to introduce myself and dive into this new world of blogging. Hope you enjoy my ramblings.

www.wotpast.com